Corporate words I hate

Today's word: Critical

If you assumed the true meaning of the word critical every time it was used in the corporate world, there would be either dead guys in suits all over the damn place or we'd all have extra limbs due to nuclear fallout. Critical should refer either:

--to a person at risk of death due to illness or injury: After I hit him over the head with my laptop for using a word incorrectly, he was in critical condition

or

--to having enough fissionable matter to sustain a reaction

It also can refer to a person who criticizes: I am critical of those who misuse words. Depending on your dictionary, you may or may not get a definition that's somewhat close to what the man in the suit is trying to say, but it really isn't the right word. If it's critical that we get this report done by Friday, we're in hella trouble.

Seriously folks, the word you are looking for is crucial. Crucial refers to an extremely important decision or result. Again folks, please take care of our words. It's the only thing that really separates us from the animals.

Less than 50!

49 days from today, thats 1,176 hours, I will be on my way. Only 30 more days of corporate whoredom to get through. It can't come soon enough, yet I'm sure it will go by faster than I could imagine.

Left to do:

-Get med and life insurance (since I'll be totally unemployed for ?? months/years)
-Figure out what I'm going to take with me...as little as possible.
-Get some last details straightened out with my banks.

...I think that's about it. I'm in pretty good shape, huh?

Senioritis v3.0

In 2001, I remember sitting through my last semester of high school, longing to be done with full school days and dress codes. Senioritis had hit.

Four years later, it was wave two. Just one more semester and I'll be free of school and making a paycheck! The first round paled in comparison. It sounded so glamorous to be in the big-kid world--I got business cards, a laptop, a phone... The honeymoon was shortlived.

Now, just a bit more than two years after that, I feel as though I'm having senioritis all over again. This time, it's big and it's bad. I'm down to 54 days now, and it cannot come soon enough. I've all but checked out at work. There are several things I have to get done before I leave so I don't look like a schmuck. I'll get them done, but I can't promise I'll have fun doing them. I can almost smell the jet fuel and taste the airplane food aboard my Air New Zealand B-777. At least I don't have any final exams to cram for.

Corporate words I hate

During my last couple months in Corporate America, I thought that I would do some venting. This will be a periodical feature about terrible words used in the corporate world. Corporate America uses tons of cliches and misuses words like it will raise the stock price. As a writer, this makes me feel very sad.


Today's word: Learnings

Learnings is not a word. Even Microsoft Office knows that! It gives you the squiggly red lines people! Learning, singular, can be a noun if we are referring to academic activity. Like an instition of higher learning. Other than that, learning is the present participle of learn. It is a verb. Can't we just leave our poor verbs alone?

The answer is "no"

I really don't know what I'm going to be doing in New Zealand. I'm pretty much just going to show up and see what happens. My things to have planned before going probably will be limited to my (one-way) plane ticket and my first few nights accomodation in Auckland. Crazy? You bet!

It's probably going to be a bit shocking to my corporately brainwashed mind. In Corporate America, we live by Microsoft Outlook. It's not unheard of to have meetings scheduled months in advance, and recurring conference calls are sprinkled on my calendar liberally. What am I going to do when I don't have that friendly little box to tell me what I have to do in 15 minutes??

What do I imagine I'll be doing in New Zealand? All sorts of things, and hopefully a lot of firsts. I will be working at some point; I don't want to come out of this endeavor broke. I'd like to do some homestays where I could work for my room and board. I might also like to get some restaurant or resort work. I want to go zorbing, for sure. I want to go snow skiing/boarding as I've never been. I want to drink a lot of Speights with new friends.

But how will I decide what to do when without Outlook's help? Well, when I get bored of what I'm doing, I'll move on. Maybe I'll catch a ride with the next person out of town. Maybe I'll look at job boards. Maybe I'll revisit somewhere else I enjoyed. Maybe I'll take a week in Australia. My calendar's totally empty.

One step closer

I couldn't have asked for a better reaction from my boss when I told her of my plans today. She's very excited for me. It's great that I can now speak openly about what I'm doing. My last day here will be Aug. 31, so I will have a week to chill and tie up the loose ends before I head down south.

On another note, I apologize for the stagnancy of the posts...Things will pick up as I get closer to my departure, which happens to be two months from today!

It's Friday!

Some people's voice are filled with so much excitement over saying those words. I love Fridays as much as the next guy, but how depressing is it that we give so much credence to one day of the week? We're essentially admitting to ourselves and everyone around us that the four days that preceded today were inferior to the next two. Why do so many of us go through life enjoying three (really just two) days of every week more than the other four? Now, I've forgotten just about everything I learned in my stats class, but I'm pretty sure that's a shitty ratio.

And that really gets to the heart of what I'm doing. Why should I waste my one shot at this thing called life worrying about slogging through five days each week just to "enjoy" two more? There are better ways for all of us to spend our lives than as living Dilberts, periodically enjoying 28.5 percent of our existence. There are far too many places to see, people to meet and beers to be drunk, and I intend to get in my fair share of all three.

Corporate whore travels, continued

The travel gods are out to get me, it would seem.

I made it to Philly, but now more fun! Even more than last night, I promise.

First, there's a $185 fee to leave the rental car here (Again, thank god for company expensing)

Flight is delayed by an hour. So that means i get into chi-town about 25 mins before my connecting flight. Hopefully. Anyone who's traveled worth a shit knows that I can't count on getting into o'hare on time. (i also asked about getting standby on an earlier flight out of philly, but the only other one is over booked by TWENTY FIVE PEOPLE!)

What's more, if i miss my flight there, it's the last one out tonight. AND all united flights to Omaha tomorrow are booked. Woo!

So needless to say, i'm enjoying a beer on the good ole expense report. Thank god for that, at least.

Corporate whore travels

Right now, I'm in the middle of Pennsylvania. I'm here only for about 24 hours. Actually only 22 hours, since my flight got messed up.

I was to fly omaha to philly via o'hare. Weather thought otherwise--landing in chicago, i discovered my flight to be canceled. United did automatically rebook me, but that meant getting into philly three hours later than was planned. Oh, AND i had a 2.5 hour drive to take after I landed.

So, being the quick-thinking traveler that i am, i decided to see if they could just switch me to a flight into harrisburg, which actually was about an hour closer to my destination, but was too expensive to book originally. No sweat--they guy did it in 2 minutes. Now to re-arrange my rental car--nice and easy, the travel agent said i'd have a car in h-burg, to return to philly.

Wrong! Landing in harrisburg, i find out that the usual company has ZERO cars left. "You don't have my reservation?" Nope, was the answer.

OK, call back the travel agent. "Well, looks like it never got changed," the guy explained.

OK...what about a different place? No cars anywhere?!?! How?

So after a few minutes of thinking I'm totally trapped in Harrisburg, Pa., the guy decides to be just a scheming as I was in my flight rebooking--TELL a company that i'd return a car to harrisburg, then drop it at philly, and let the travel agency sort it out.

One of the few good things about traveling for work. I can get away with stuff like this. Won't be long before I have to pay for my own travel screw-ups.

Singapore working holiday

As I've said before, I'm going to New Zealand on a "working holiday" visa. This means I can take temporary work while in New Zealand to pay for my travels. Lots of countries offer such a setup, but typically not to Americans. In fact, NZ and Australia are the only countries Americans can get a WHV without being a student. That's part of why I'm going to New Zealand first.

But now, Singapore looks to be beginning a similar scheme that will allow Americans to participate. Vagablogging had a post on this last week. I definitely am going to be considering this after I'm done with New Zealand. I've heard a lot of great things about Singapore (despite their harsh penalties for even seemingly mild offenses).

Preparations

I've made some good headway on getting ready for my trip in the last couple weeks. For starters, I ordered my backpack from REI. That should be here this week. And yes, I do plan to live out of that during my travels!

I got my second bank account squared away--a MyAccess account from Bank of America. What's cool is that BoA doesn't charge for using others' ATMs AND has an agreement with a bank in New Zealand to not charge any transaction or exchange fees for using their ATMs. Very cool.

Next, I've gotten my first of a few immunizations. Tetanus was yesterday, but my doc referred me to an infectious disease specialist who can give me complete information about travel-related illnesses (especially important should I end up going to SE Asia, as I want to). I'll likely get hep A and typhoid next week there.

What's left? Well, I need to get my health insurance squared away for one. Then it's really just some random things and I'll be set to go!

96 days to go!

How to ditch the cube

Brave New Traveler has a great post today about How to Ditch the Cubicle and Plan Your Escape.

This is a must read!

Insurance

In addition to using this blog as a way to help my friends and family keep track of me once I'm gone, I hope to leave a few tips for fellow travelers looking to do similar things. God knows plenty of other blogs have helped me thus far, so I should pay it forward, I suppose.

I need medical insurance 1) because the terms of my NZ visa say so, and 2) because I won't be employed and, god forbid, i need to be covered if anything should happen to me. Lots of travelers pick World Nomads, because it is dirt cheap. But really, it doesn't cover you for jack if you were to really need medical attention. I, most likely, will go with International Medical Group (IMG). Certainly not as cheap as Nomads. But, at a $1000 deductible, I will get $5 million in lifetime coverage, with a very short list of coverage exceptions. This includes the United States, and only for 750 a year. That's cheaper than what most people pay for regular coverage. I definitely would recommend this for anyone who wants to ensure they're covered while abroad.

Fun at work?!

It's thursday night at MSP airport, which means there's a lot of business travelers running around, looking absolutely miserable. Complaints are filling the air (mine included), and folks are ready for the week to be over. But one group seems to be consistently happy at the aiport--the pilots. Always smiling, joking around with eachother, being here obviously isn't a drag for these guys. How great to love your job that much, huh? I suppose having an office with such a view as theirs surely helps. (Look how excited that guy is!)

Maybe I've found my calling afterall...

In a winning kind of mood

Lucky week for me! On Tuesday, I won $250 toward hostel stays through BootsnAll's Treasure Hunt. Totally awesome. (Definitely gunning for the grand prize--$2000 toward a round-the-world ticket.)

Then, through Gadling, I won a copy of Susan Griffith's Work Your Way Around the World. ANOTHER great prize, as that's a topic I'm quite interested in. I probably would have bought the book regardless.

Maybe I should go buy a lottery ticket or something.

TravMonkey.com: 5 Reasons To Quit Your Job and Go Traveling

TravMonkey's got a great post today about 5 Reasons To Quit Your Job and Go Traveling. Good man!

For those who have never visited his blog, he's a Brit living in Australia, and letting his readers help make some of his decisions, such as where to go and where to live.

Thank god for support

Lots of folks seem to deal with unsupportive parents and friends. Thankfully, I've found nothing but support. My friends are thrilled for me. It was my mom's idea to move back home. My dad's taking an interest in my plans. Everyone seems to want me to have a successful trip; and I'm very thankful for that.

Ditching my stuff

I have very little to my name at this point. I got rid of all my furniture, my 30-inch HDTV and a lot of my CDs and DVDs. I'll sell my car before I go. The only thing i'll keep is my laptop and some clothes. It's been surprisingly easy to get rid of all this stuff; and to be honest, I don't miss it a bit. It feels good to put everything you've got into a personal goal as big as this. And when I finally go, I'll be even more separated from stuff--everything I need I'll carry on my back. It'll be a weird experience.

Results-only work environment

Check out these articles on Best Buy's new culture. No required office hours or mandatory meetings. Wanna sleep in today? Go for it! Leave early for a movie? No problem!

THAT is a corporate culture I might actually enjoy.

Entrepreneur magazine

Business Week

Blog name, explained

So here's the story about my blog's name. For my 24th birthday, a good friend of mine gave me a rubber bracelet that says "corporate whore" on it, exactly like the one in the header. At first, it was just a silly gift. But now I have made it more. I wear this thing constantly, taking it off only on rare occasions. It's a reminder to push forward until I can break the bond of the 8 to 5. And when I get to New Zealand, the first thing I'm going to do is throw it into the sea. I can't wait!